Apotheosis of evil. I'm a baptised christian who doubts the existence of God.
An avatar of anti-socialism who doesn't fit anywhere in humanity.
I'm tired and lonely... the world is meaningless to me... I want to be forgiven for my sin against someone
very dear. Yet that someone has become a mere memory, no longer an existence in my life.
Endless lament... sorrow... because I was foolish and stubborn.
"I once tried to exploit the darkness within me. But I failed, and it backfired. I was lost in the
darkness, and couldn't find the light."
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
October 2009
Admittedly, I must have seen this day coming already... weeks ago... months ago... or perhaps last year I had already forseen this scenario. Perhaps this only applies to me.. but I guess all friendships have to end somewhere, someday... with me, nothing is meant to last for an eternity, that word is nothing more than an illusion, that world that I long for so much is a fleeting dream.
I wonder if it's because I'm so alone in this world? I think I really requires a lot of attention and time... It just really cuts deep when a close friend goes around and mixes with his or her friends and leaves me out. It leaves a really bitter taste. And... I'm quite sure some people feel the same way as me too. To be left out of stuff, yet you can't bring yourself to join that group simply because you simply can't mix with that group. And it's precisely because it's a close friend, the pain piercing through the heart is stronger. I think I wouldn't care less if it were some acquaintance. Someone I had to work with under circumstances.
I think it's only a matter of time before this friendship crumbled fully. One can't possibly satisfy 2 groups of people and be with both of them evenly. And if there was any preference at all, the group receiving less attention would probably not feel too happie... if to that group, that one person meant nothing, the connection between both parties would literally stop... and if that one person meant truly a lot, there'd be a lot of damage done...
To that person provided that person reads this... I'm sorry I haven't been a good friend all these years... I'm sorry there wasn't any other way to resolve this... Sorry if I've been really unfair... it's just you chose the joy over 3 months over the time spent over the many years... and well, if it carried on, I'm very sure I'd be hurt even more than I am now. This matter wasn't what I wanted to talk to you about initially, however... I think it's better to talk about this first... and if this ending still came eventually, it'd be pointless to talk to you about what I actually wanted to say. It'd have nothing to do with you.
Sigh... It's about time I let go...
#include
#include
using namespace std;
int main() {
string y;
cout << y << "Thank you... Sorry... Goodbye... Soshite... ima made, arigato gozaimashita." << endl;
cout << "If there were any errors in this.. forgive my poor coding..." << endl;
system("pause");
return 0;
}
风声静静躺着在诱惑
我一个人在角落没有你陪伴的我
连寂寞都笑我太堕落
广场旁边的烟囱烟雾弥漫你面容
我悄悄背颂你的温柔喝着加温后的啤酒
这样唯美的镜头是否只存在故事之中
在你的身后时间把过去带走
时间把镜头带走不假思索回忆不放手
好想在跟你牵着手牵着你给我的温柔
哭过以后眼泪还是不停的流
在你身后时间把画面带走
时间把镜头带走不假思索回忆不放手
好想在跟你牵着手牵着曾有过的温柔
哭过以后眼泪还是不停的的流
遇见彩虹
雨下过之后街角出现彩虹
泪流乾之后有彩虹
he yawned again at 12:07 AM