[.:*kagou*:.] [ The Blog ]

Saturday, April 16, 2005

When I exchanged words with her the first time in class, I had the feeling... she resembled... THAT PERSON... I wonder if God had planned this for me? After all, all man are brought to this world to suffer. And as a matter of fact, I've truly received a good deal of it these 2 years. This blog just has neverending misfortune. Those who frequently patronize this place should be quite familiar. And sorry about the infrequent posting, apart from time constraints, the drive isn't there at times.

Anyways... sometimes I can't help but stare at her... I can't say that she looks exactly like THAT PERSON, but there's a kind of resemblance.. the face.. the voice... the habits.. when she draws.. when I happened to be around to see her play the piano... it brought back a lot of happie memories for me. It looks as if I'm watching THAT PERSON...

I think I should refer to my classmate as she and her and THAT PERSON as THAT PERSON... For convenience and consistency issues. Not good to mention names. Hmmm. Anyway... I naturally, instinctively wanted to care for her... just because they're similar... just because they look similar, act similar... though she's less feminine and more vulgar than THAT PERSON. Heh heh. =X I don't know what to do... I don't want to cause any misunderstandings... yet I don't want to intentionally avoid her after I just absentmindedly went ahead and befriended her. I know it very well myself that despite all the similarities.. she isn't THAT PERSON.. THAT PERSON holds a special place in my heart that can't and won't be replaced, even though she's no longer around. And shucks THAT PERSON was referred to as she but oh well I can't be bothered anymore. Sigh. Readers must be getting irritated by my interruptions already, but sorry I just can't type this issue without cutting myself off here and there.

She keeps apologizing. For no reason. I wonder if I'm making her feel uneasy? I'm just no good at that species, girl phobia and all. And she keeps coughing!! THAT PERSON's nose keeps running, both can't take care of themselves. Hah. I don't dare to tell her any of this... I'm afraid she'd freak out, think I'm some pervert, think I have feelings for her or anything... it's just going to cause so many misunderstandings and take off a friend from me. Which is quite obviously not a good thing. I think the best thing for me to do now is keep that to myself.. and some close friends.. someday if I become good friends with her I'd tell her the whole truth. Think she has the right to know...

I don't know how many times I refer THAT PERSON as THAT PERSON.. or just 'her'... I don't think I've mentioned her name even once in this blog? Even so... though much time has passed.. 426 days... that feeling for her still exists. I can't forget. I don't know why either. Sure it isn't as deep as before, but it's still there. Koko ni aru. I won't take off that counter just yet. 426.

爱你,
不是因为你的美和影
我越来越爱你,
每个眼神触动我的心
因为你让我看见Forever
才了解自己,
未来这些日子
要好好珍惜

爱我
有些痛苦有些不公平
如果真的爱我
不是理所当然的决定
感到你的呼吸在我耳边
像微风深情
温柔的安抚,
我的不安定
所以我要
每年研究你的笑容
wo~~
多么自然

Forever love... Forever love...
我只想用我这一辈子去爱你
从今以后,
你会是所有
幸福的理由

爱情,
是场最美最远的旅行
沿途遇经泥泞
偶尔阻碍我们的前进
感到你的体温在我怀里
像阳光和煦
巧妙的熔化
我的不安定
不可思议
证明我爱你的理由
wo
多么自然
你感动的眼睛,
我沉默的声音,
仿佛就是最好的证明
就让我再说一次
I love you ~~
直到永远
Oh...
Forever love...
Forever love...
Forever... love...

he yawned again at 8:42 AM