Apotheosis of evil. I'm a baptised christian who doubts the existence of God.
An avatar of anti-socialism who doesn't fit anywhere in humanity.
I'm tired and lonely... the world is meaningless to me... I want to be forgiven for my sin against someone
very dear. Yet that someone has become a mere memory, no longer an existence in my life.
Endless lament... sorrow... because I was foolish and stubborn.
"I once tried to exploit the darkness within me. But I failed, and it backfired. I was lost in the
darkness, and couldn't find the light."
August 2004
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*deep sigh* I made someone angry again. Why am I always making people angry? Life is just.. not getting better? =( I made 2 people angry in fact. I don't know what's wrong with me. I cracked a joke.. apparently it was insulting and I got machine gunned quite heavily. And today I 'shouted' at my friend who's helping mi on msn.
Well... anyway... I guess.. no.. I'm pretty sure.. I was realli happie when she replied my sms yesterday. Albeit a few hours after.. I was realli realli realli happie though. Even said she'd try and call mi later. I appreciated it but I guess she was busy.. hmmm.. And she called mi today after I pondered for the past 5 hours whether I should send the message. Well.. regardless of what others say.. whether this is would be the right thing to do or not.. this is what I want to do. I want to chase her.
I'd walk ten thousand miles, ten thousand miles to see you..
And every gasp of breath I grabbed at just to find you..
And every single step of the way.. I pay..
Every single night and day.. I searched for you..
Through sandstorms and hazy dawns.. I reached for you..
he yawned again at 2:58 PM