Apotheosis of evil. I'm a baptised christian who doubts the existence of God.
An avatar of anti-socialism who doesn't fit anywhere in humanity.
I'm tired and lonely... the world is meaningless to me... I want to be forgiven for my sin against someone
very dear. Yet that someone has become a mere memory, no longer an existence in my life.
Endless lament... sorrow... because I was foolish and stubborn.
"I once tried to exploit the darkness within me. But I failed, and it backfired. I was lost in the
darkness, and couldn't find the light."
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
October 2009
Finally I decided to reveal all the posts I've been keeping the past few months. Wonder what I did this all for? I have no idea really.. Maybe it's just.. I don't realli want to drag anyone into my world anymore.. Maybe it's my way of acknowledging yeah, I think this is my own problem after all.. I don't want to drag anyone else in.. I'm sorry for having all of you involved..
More than a month.. it's been more than a month.. and the suffering persists.. and I find myself drifting further from what I used to be. Be it belief, confidence, strength, I've been changing much too.. the past 4 years of my life has completely warped me.. I don't seem to be becoming the better person I hope to be.. in fact I feel like becoming a horrible person now. It's like.. I don't gain ANYTHING from trying to be nice at all.
Well.. to people who want to read.. just read the March 7th post I guess..
he yawned again at 11:37 PM