Apotheosis of evil. I'm a baptised christian who doubts the existence of God.
An avatar of anti-socialism who doesn't fit anywhere in humanity.
I'm tired and lonely... the world is meaningless to me... I want to be forgiven for my sin against someone
very dear. Yet that someone has become a mere memory, no longer an existence in my life.
Endless lament... sorrow... because I was foolish and stubborn.
"I once tried to exploit the darkness within me. But I failed, and it backfired. I was lost in the
darkness, and couldn't find the light."
August 2004
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Unexpectedly.. of all the people that has to poke me about that issue.. it has to be you. I guess you're right. It does hurt. And I do feel quite.. I don't know how to describe it. 她什么都没对我说。唯一对我说的就是 ‘你不能喜欢我。’ 她对我又有何想法，感受，我什么都不知道，也没有机会知道。但与你的那段过去让我害怕知道。知道最负面的真相。跟她的友情也随着我的感情的到来而似乎濒临崩溃，眼看着状况我实在无法自私地只顾着自己。再加上… 她现在是幸福的。我怎能当上第三者呢？
..but I won't change my way of doing things. I don't think there's anything I can do. Suck thumb lor. One-sided lor. At least I feel that.. it's worth doing it.. and.. well.. it's always been this way even with you.
One day though, I wish I could sing this song to her. Hahaa. It's nice feeling to know that the love you have for a special someone is appreciated. I, unfortunately, am not so blessed.
關上門 結束一天的旅程 眼前出現的不是屋頂的燈
總是被妳的畫面 佔據我所有視線 一直到我深深入眠
翻開日記 上面第一頁是妳 坐在夕陽下說夢想的表情
看妳燦爛的側臉心底堅定地誓言 要守護妳到永遠
朋友總給我一堆理由 要我別再為妳難過
他們只是不懂我 太多 愛上妳的理由
其實我一直默默在妳的身後 每天深夜都會數著星星找妳的星座
擔心妳脆弱 怕妳受挫 忘了自己的痛
從很久以前到以後 都堅持愛妳沒錯
其實看著妳開心就能足夠 也許我還少了一點勇氣把愛說出口
只要妳回頭 妳會發現我 不只是妳的朋友
這些年我一直站在愛妳的路口
翻開日記 上面第一頁是妳 坐在夕陽下說愛我的表情
看妳逞強的笑臉 心底堅定地誓言 要守護妳到永遠
朋友總給我一堆理由 要我別再為妳難過
他們只是不懂我 太多 愛上妳的理由
其實我一直默默在妳的身後 每天深夜都會數著星星找妳的星座
擔心妳脆弱 怕妳受挫 忘了自己的痛
從很久以前到以後 都堅持愛妳沒錯
其實看著妳開心就能足夠 也許我還少了一點勇氣把愛說出口
只要妳回頭 妳會發現我 不只是妳的朋友
這些年我一直站在愛妳的路口
這些年我一直站在愛妳的路口
he yawned again at 10:32 AM