The current 

mood of kagou at www.imood.com

Apotheosis of evil. I'm a baptised christian who doubts the existence of God. An avatar of anti-socialism who doesn't fit anywhere in humanity. I'm tired and lonely... the world is meaningless to me... I want to be forgiven for my sin against someone very dear. Yet that someone has become a mere memory, no longer an existence in my life. Endless lament... sorrow... because I was foolish and stubborn.

"I once tried to exploit the darkness within me. But I failed, and it backfired. I was lost in the darkness, and couldn't find the light."


Cream of Chicken Wing

Past entries
August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 October 2009
Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Unexpectedly.. of all the people that has to poke me about that issue.. it has to be you. I guess you're right. It does hurt. And I do feel quite.. I don't know how to describe it. 她什么都没对我说。唯一对我说的就是 ‘你不能喜欢我。’ 她对我又有何想法,感受,我什么都不知道,也没有机会知道。但与你的那段过去让我害怕知道。知道最负面的真相。跟她的友情也随着我的感情的到来而似乎濒临崩溃,眼看着状况我实在无法自私地只顾着自己。再加上… 她现在是幸福的。我怎能当上第三者呢?

..but I won't change my way of doing things. I don't think there's anything I can do. Suck thumb lor. One-sided lor. At least I feel that.. it's worth doing it.. and.. well.. it's always been this way even with you.

One day though, I wish I could sing this song to her. Hahaa. It's nice feeling to know that the love you have for a special someone is appreciated. I, unfortunately, am not so blessed.

關上門 結束一天的旅程 眼前出現的不是屋頂的燈
總是被妳的畫面 佔據我所有視線 一直到我深深入眠
翻開日記 上面第一頁是妳 坐在夕陽下說夢想的表情
看妳燦爛的側臉心底堅定地誓言 要守護妳到永遠
朋友總給我一堆理由 要我別再為妳難過
他們只是不懂我 太多 愛上妳的理由
其實我一直默默在妳的身後 每天深夜都會數著星星找妳的星座
擔心妳脆弱 怕妳受挫 忘了自己的痛
從很久以前到以後 都堅持愛妳沒錯
其實看著妳開心就能足夠 也許我還少了一點勇氣把愛說出口
只要妳回頭 妳會發現我 不只是妳的朋友
這些年我一直站在愛妳的路口
翻開日記 上面第一頁是妳 坐在夕陽下說愛我的表情
看妳逞強的笑臉 心底堅定地誓言 要守護妳到永遠
朋友總給我一堆理由 要我別再為妳難過
他們只是不懂我 太多 愛上妳的理由
其實我一直默默在妳的身後 每天深夜都會數著星星找妳的星座
擔心妳脆弱 怕妳受挫 忘了自己的痛
從很久以前到以後 都堅持愛妳沒錯
其實看著妳開心就能足夠 也許我還少了一點勇氣把愛說出口
只要妳回頭 妳會發現我 不只是妳的朋友
這些年我一直站在愛妳的路口
這些年我一直站在愛妳的路口


he yawned again at 10:32 AM