Apotheosis of evil. I'm a baptised christian who doubts the existence of God.
An avatar of anti-socialism who doesn't fit anywhere in humanity.
I'm tired and lonely... the world is meaningless to me... I want to be forgiven for my sin against someone
very dear. Yet that someone has become a mere memory, no longer an existence in my life.
Endless lament... sorrow... because I was foolish and stubborn.
"I once tried to exploit the darkness within me. But I failed, and it backfired. I was lost in the
darkness, and couldn't find the light."
August 2004
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Why can't some people just appreciate what they have? I said this a few months ago.. and a few months later.. under the exact same circumstances.. I say the same thing. It's really a strange feeling. It seems to me that some people will never appreciate others, and some people will never be appreciated. It's like a cycle with an exchange of involved individuals. Sometimes I just can't stand it. Yup, I'm jealous, what some people out there don't want or don't appreciate is actually all that I hoped to have. And that feeling sucks.
再一度聆听喜欢的人说着同样的感情上的问题…这种感觉…真的是要不得。要求自己退下，明明是如此困难的事，但最后我还是忍着痛办到了。再多想见你的心情，再多希望到达你心底的感情，我都压抑下来了。但如今受了伤的你，来对我说你现在的处境…你叫我怎么接受这安排？现在…要继续抑制自己，尽心尽力逗你笑，安慰你，说真的…蛮痛苦的。唉。
~还是喜欢你~
he yawned again at 3:11 AM