Apotheosis of evil. I'm a baptised christian who doubts the existence of God.
An avatar of anti-socialism who doesn't fit anywhere in humanity.
I'm tired and lonely... the world is meaningless to me... I want to be forgiven for my sin against someone
very dear. Yet that someone has become a mere memory, no longer an existence in my life.
Endless lament... sorrow... because I was foolish and stubborn.
"I once tried to exploit the darkness within me. But I failed, and it backfired. I was lost in the
darkness, and couldn't find the light."
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
October 2009
I am going to die. Well, at least, at the rate I'm going, my death is more or less certain. My two weeks break has ended.. which wasn't realli a break anyway, the physical torture brought about during the aftermath of the operation sorta took away the intended rest. And on my first day back to camp I find that both my superior and colleague in my department aren't around, leaving me to find out for myself exactly what has happened over the last 2 weeks.
And sigh.. I was informed on monday that I needed to hand in my Quantitative Methods module assignment the on tuesday, in addition to my Banking & Finance assignment on friday. Which was realli taxing as I didn't go for lessons during those 2 weeks except for the B&F one on the second week when I felt better. It didn't help that the QM module was supposed to be done for groups of 5-8 ideally. This being the first 2 modules, I didn't have anyone to group with (anti-social ah) that was trustworthy and all, except for my friend in camp. Who.. effectively did nothing. He's just there to write his name on my final product.
The entire assignment was completed in 2 days by me singlehandedly, and the entire final product handwritten to a total of 24 pages. Had to self-read self-learn self-blah. Stressed me out when I had to work non stop during office hours and stay up to burn midnight oil. 30% of module marks is no joke. And the best part of it? When I got there last night everyone else pushed for an extension to next week. And the dumb old lecturer just happily said 'okay!' ARGH.
Now I have my B&F assignment to rush.. I'm going to hope for a pushing, this one is seriously beyond me. I desperately need help but I apparently have nobody to turn to. *depressed* This week is seriously.. sigh I don't know what to say. I'm still in the process of recovering, and sunday night I reported back to camp for duty, I spent the entire monday time home rushing my QM assignment, I spent tuesday evening in school, I'm spending today's evening in school again, I'm on duty again tomorrow, I have a make up lesson at school on friday.. and the old dude from QM wants to hold extra lesson on saturday. I am NOT going for that.. my piano lesson is of more importance and I've found self study to be far more effective where his module is concerned.. but really, sleeping 5h and less everyday, spending most of my time in camp studying or doing work in an environment where my superiors/colleagues are absent, in my current condition.. it's realli quite taxing. And the final exam is about 2 weeks away. I'm realli worried about things right now.
我住在巷口那间28号的房间
我对窗了望就是一片海岸线
衣也旧房子也旧一晃就是二十年
只有包长寿香烟一些老音乐
我床底还收着一双女人鞋
那太值得怀念的一年
那太值得珍惜我们之间
有些愿望希望实现
在有生之年
保佑我
能有天越过那片海岸线
保佑我
能有个巧合我们再遇见
保佑我
到最后还能认得她的脸
保佑我
请你保佑我
她不会比我难过
我希望她能比我更好过
此时此刻, 你在做甚么呢?
he yawned again at 1:25 PM