Apotheosis of evil. I'm a baptised christian who doubts the existence of God.
An avatar of anti-socialism who doesn't fit anywhere in humanity.
I'm tired and lonely... the world is meaningless to me... I want to be forgiven for my sin against someone
very dear. Yet that someone has become a mere memory, no longer an existence in my life.
Endless lament... sorrow... because I was foolish and stubborn.
"I once tried to exploit the darkness within me. But I failed, and it backfired. I was lost in the
darkness, and couldn't find the light."
August 2004
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Day 408
Today is the birthday of another very very special person. There's like, 3 very special person and 1 damn good friend (Welyon!) born this month. Poor leh. Somemore last 2 months so many classmates' birthdays. Plus 1 more special person. But either way.. Chu lian liu xia lai de ying xiang zhen de hao shen ah. I still remember many things very clearly right now. At least these were all good memories, and.. up till now I still feel guilty about the whole thing. By the time I had willed myself to change for the absolute better it was too late to salvage anything.. So I wanted to be the best for the next person who was special to me. I think I was somewhere there, but.. haha..
While I was on duty earlier my partner kept watching wo cai, then it just so happened they were guessing which of 5 couples present have already broken up. Then the couple that broke up so sad! The girl cried after the interview, and then I wasn't suspecting anything. And when it was revealed the 2 of them were like breaking down together. Sigh even though yeah the whole thing might be scripted already emo people like mi still get very.. after the whole thing.
And I realli wonder.. how they saw me after all that has happened.. The first one left disappointed.. The second one left me disappointed.. The third one never gave me a chance haha! Okay la.. I've had my dosage of.. emotional release. Now it's just.. finishing what I intended. Hmm, I must seem like a freak to be still like this after so long. Hohox.
'Karei, thanks a lot for the many happie memories and for putting up with me, sorry I was never good enough. I pray you'd lead a life that's filled with the happiness a wonderful girl like you deserves. Happie birthday =)'
看住时间
别让它在再流浪
从前我太适应悲伤
你的出现在无意中
却深深撼动我
一起走着没说什么
心是满足的
这个世界
随时都要崩塌
我没有其它的愿望
假如明天将消失了
趁现在我爱着
只想记得,被你抱着
温热的感受
Love's beautiful
So beautiful
我失去过
更珍惜拥有
多庆幸我是我
被你疼爱的我
紧紧牵住的手
不要放手
永远守护我
Love's beautiful
So beautiful
我很快乐
你会了解我
我不会再哭泣
是因为我相信
我们勇敢的爱着
每秒钟
都能证明一生的美丽
he yawned again at 12:01 AM