Apotheosis of evil. I'm a baptised christian who doubts the existence of God.
An avatar of anti-socialism who doesn't fit anywhere in humanity.
I'm tired and lonely... the world is meaningless to me... I want to be forgiven for my sin against someone
very dear. Yet that someone has become a mere memory, no longer an existence in my life.
Endless lament... sorrow... because I was foolish and stubborn.
"I once tried to exploit the darkness within me. But I failed, and it backfired. I was lost in the
darkness, and couldn't find the light."
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
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January 2005
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August 2005
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January 2007
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January 2008
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January 2009
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October 2009
Yes yes, I'm blogging, at last.. I finally found the time to do it, hahaa..
2008.. hopefully the last terrible year I'll be having in a while. I don't have much hopes for this year either.. the only one being my hoping it'd end sooner. January will be ending soon.. christmas 2007 is long over, but I'm still holding onto the gift for her. I guess I don't want anyone else to have it. Maybe some day in future I might give it to someone whom I feel I want to give it to.. but right now.. I really don't want anyone else to come into possession of it. I wish she'd at least take it though... It still hurts.
With that and other things happening.. The feeling that I'm unable to retain my character is getting stronger.. I've more or less given up on most of my friends already. I just don't feel like keeping the majority of them anymore. It's completely ridiculous and naive to think that good friends stay for life. I'll lead the type of life where I move on and mix with people
Why talk to me if you're not going to say anything?
Why bother with me when you only look for me when you need something?
Why should I waste my time and efforts when I have so many problems talking to you all?
Why should I care when none of you do?
Carry on with your own lives and stay the hell out of mine. If you need something from me I'll give it to you provided circumstances permit it, otherwise, stop acting so friendly with me.
...I really don't like the feeling of being betrayed... don't like the feeling of watching distance grow... don't like the feeling of just being used yet called a friend... and I don't want to lose anyone anymore... so I feel... it's better to be alone.
I'm kinda tired so I'm posting other stuff another day...
笑声塞进梦里面
回忆搬到最旁边
收拾好爱情呼啸而过的昨天
心恢复空洞整洁
一切干净到极点
你来你变你不见
现在只剩顽强的思念
还没有被解决
若命运只想拿个梦
敷衍我太长的等候
那大可不用美丽到
让我以为这次心动会有什么
也许还是重返寂寞
毕竟也只有寂寞肯永远爱我
也许还是拥抱孤独
从来也只有孤独肯陪我痛哭
从今后就选择沉默
选择服从岁月如梭
选择服从孤独寂寞
he yawned again at 7:15 PM