The current 

mood of kagou at www.imood.com

Apotheosis of evil. I'm a baptised christian who doubts the existence of God. An avatar of anti-socialism who doesn't fit anywhere in humanity. I'm tired and lonely... the world is meaningless to me... I want to be forgiven for my sin against someone very dear. Yet that someone has become a mere memory, no longer an existence in my life. Endless lament... sorrow... because I was foolish and stubborn.

"I once tried to exploit the darkness within me. But I failed, and it backfired. I was lost in the darkness, and couldn't find the light."


Cream of Chicken Wing

Past entries
August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 October 2009
Tuesday, May 05, 2009

I wonder when was the last time I felt like this...?
Over the last few years of torment...
The reason I survived...
The reason I can still trust...
The reason I picked myself up every time I fell...
The reason I chose to push myself...
The reason I can still smile like this...
And many many more reasons for what I am right now...

You might have been the cause all along.
Why was I such an idiot?
Why didn't I notice sooner?
It's a regret everyday. Sigh.

为什麽如此的安静
为什麽明明想靠近却还在迟疑
努力的我保持镇定
努力开拓话题
最後却溃不成军

为什麽如此的美丽
深刻的烙在心里最温柔的酷刑
每一天无法不想你
连闭上眼睛
怎麽都是你

你可不可以爱我
可不可以想我
虽然我对自己没有一点的把握
别害怕我难过
告诉我你真实的感受
至少忐忑已告一段落

你可不可以爱我
可不可以看我
反正看或不看我依然失魂落魄
成全不是美德
拒绝也不是一种罪过
你能给我快乐还是寂寞

想念燃烧个不停
我快置身灰烬
你是我的呼吸

你能给我能给我什麽
快乐还是寂寞



多希望能是快乐。

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he yawned again at 3:27 PM